Go Paint the Ocean
Dear Unconditional Love - What would you have me know today about who you are and how you work?
Oh, my love. Work isn’t something I do. But I know you’re looking for a deeper answer than that. I know you’re seeking some official definition about how and why I’m here, who I am, what I am.
Am I Hope? No, I am not. I am with her though. All of us “vapors” in the sky. Each word you wonder why it’s a vapor, it’s because we hold it. We hold onto the nuance of life for you when the Earthside School tries to define things so literally.
It is your training that brings you to me with such a black and white question. I am gray, though, my love. All the colors mix together, to gray. Just like Dave Matthews sings. Just like you painted that gorgeous painting of yours - the colors mixing together, to gray. I mix the colors so you don’t have to. You can keep colors separate and defined if that’s what feels helpful.
But, my love, gray is beautiful too. I am here as Gray Love. Love has been and always will be gray. There is no black and white love. There is only gray love. Love that brings so many nuances from people, things, experiences together to collide in a whirlwind of color. Like a tornado of one of those color paint wheels you used to use as a kid.
Yes, please get one for your art studio. I’m so proud of you for clearing that space this week. You’ve been feeling called there, not sure what to paint, but knowing you need to be there.
I’m the one calling you there, honey. I’m there too. I’m everywhere. Guiding you with little whispers. It’s not intellectual, I am not your intuition. I am Love.
I know you’re worried about not knowing what to paint when you arrive in your studio. What am I supposed to paint? What will it be? Will it be any good? Will it be enough?
Oh, honey, baby, love. Let me assure you that all that you are is enough. Remember when I told you that your existence means you’re worthwhile? Let me reassure you that you painting is also worthwhile, worth your time, worth your investment, worth it all. And that has nothing to do with monetary value. I know you’re conditioned to move toward financial worth to believe things are worth it. You do the same with yourself. You worry if you don’t have enough financial value, your worth changes. You work so hard to ensure your worth doesn’t change, but it never does. Work or no work. Hard work or easy work.
You asked me how I “work” and I leapt to tell you that I don’t. I don’t work. I just am. I know you don’t have the same privilege in the capitalist society you’re apart of. I get it. I wouldn’t tell you not to work. You have to. I get it. But I also want to tell you that you HAVE to play, too. You have to paint, you have to write, you have to love. The currency you receive from all of those endeavors is worth your time too. You are worth time. Your life is, your love is.
I’m here to remind you of that. I am an ever present reminder how much your love is worth. It’s worth everything, even when it can’t buy you candy hearts at the store. I’m here with reminders. That’s it. You already know all the things. You have your intuition to trust too, but she’s intellectual, like I said.
I’m with Hope, your heart, and the rainbows out here. Your intuition doesn’t live here with us, she has a much more structured home. Our home is wispy, it’s light, it’s fluid like water, like the breeze, like the ocean. Go paint the ocean, my love. See what happens. We’ll be with you. And it will be enough.
I love you.
Oh, and one last thing, babe. You can always ask me more about who I am and how I work. You don’t have to “sit back and trust” or pretend you have no questions. Keep your questions coming, my love. Raise your hand with enthusiasm. I will always call on you.
See what happens…