Dodging a Car Wreck
Dear Unconditional Love - what would you have me know today?
Deep breath babe. I’m here. I know you’re so frustrated right now. I know how much it hurts you to be in a position where you aren’t seen for all the things you ARE doing and are instead criticized for your mistakes. As if you don’t beat yourself up enough when you mess up. Getting unsolicited feedback about a perceived screw up isn’t helpful or kind… or love.
I am love. And I am here. You know how Lizzy was talking about ego this week? I can tell you that ego is something that you’re close friends with. But you already knew that. You’re close friends because you believe her so much… but that doesn’t mean she is believable. The things she says are not helpful or kind… or love. She has a mask with the words “I’m here to help you get/be better” on it but underneath that mask is shame and blame and criticism. Just because that’s all masked under something sparkly, doesn’t make it any less hurtful underneath the surface.
You started to believe your ego for a minute there today, when she told you that you had done something wrong. But then you heard my voice saying, “I hear you. And I won’t go down your rabbit hole” and you voiced that out loud. I am so proud of you.
To me, that shows how far you’ve come in your journey to connect to your love. You see other people trying to do the same. And yes their journey bumps up against your boat in the ocean sometimes, and it’s rocky and a little water gets in. But we can’t let the waves of other people’s opinions sink us, my love. That’s what ego would have us believe, though.
“Let an outside perspective make you into a better, faster, stronger, shinier boat!” it promises.
But there is no “better” boat than the pink one you’re already on. The boat you’re on is the perfect one for you. You can let in the air that breathes life into your boat. The ones that propel your sails. The kind that says, “tell me how to help you make YOUR boat more perfect for YOU.” Because that kind of love is life giving, instead of a fucking sinking death.
I know it’s been so hard to distinguish those in the past. Do you like the quote KB shared? “I won’t take advice from someone whose position I don’t want to be in.” I know you do. You believe that and it makes sense to you.
When you watch someone emulating a life you wish to live, in a position you want to be in (physically, spiritually, mentally) how beautiful would it be to hear feedback from them that brings you closer to being in a similar position to them? Especially if you asked for it! That sounds like the kind of healthy relationship where we all stay in our lane until we WANT to merge and we do so gracefully with our blinkers on and our own permission and welcoming permission from others.
Sometimes people will cut you off, my love. Most of the time without asking! On the road, at sea, while you fly, you name it. And it makes sense that it pisses you off! It’s infuriating!
And I know you know that those people are on their own journeys. You can’t control them, you can only control your brakes when you try not to slam into them from behind and cause a huge wreck.
Great job doing that today, babe. Seeing that cut off as nothing more than what THAT person thought was necessary for their journey. But they can’t stop your car, you didn’t hit them. You kindly used your blinker, got over, and kept driving with your music on loud when that car told you to “TURN IT DOWN YOU ARE TOO MUCH!”
You’re never too much, my loud talking, pink loving, glitter throwing love. How are those affirmations for you? Used sparingly it’s ok right? No problem if not. I’m here to make this pink car and ship work for YOU, always. Only you get to decide what you take in. I’ll love you through it all no matter what.
Love,
Love
You nailed it, London. Well done!